"My" Gray Shirt

Madison and Cali are just over 20 months apart. I did not grow up with sister so I don't understand all the dynamics of their relationship at times. You know...best friends one minute, playing together and laughing, sharing clothes...followed by other moments of irritation, hurt feelings, agitation, and not wanting to share a thing. Because of my either "not getting it" or a lack of tolerance for selfishness in out home, I could not believe what transpired over a gray shirt.

Today is school picture day and Cali had asked Madison if she could wear her new gray shirt. Madison had just taken pictures for another occasion in this shirt and I suggested she wear something else...to which she agreed. Madison told Cali "no" much to my disappointment. Cali was frustrated and I was more than a little annoyed. Many thoughts went through my head...why couldn't she be excited for her sister to wear something that she was excited about...if any of her friends had asked to borrow the shirt, she would have gladly said "yes"...why is she being so hard hearted...why can't she see how she is holding onto selfishness. So after reminding myself that she is 9, still learning, and still growing, I simply told her that I would encourage her to think about why she was unwilling to allow Cali to borrow the shirt. She went into her closet with big "huff" and started to yank the shirt off the hangar. I admonished her not to give the shirt to Cali unless she was doing so with sincerity and a soft heart...and not simply out of obligation or “because I told her to”. I said a sweet good night and went to my room to get ready for bed.

Only a few moments had passed when Madison came in with big tears in her eyes. "Mommy, why are you acting like 'that'? I need to know we are okay before I go to bed." She was absolutely correct in that I was acting distant and my disappointment had me acting a little colder that she was accustomed.

Earlier that morning, I had just been studying attributes of the Holy Spirit in our lives and could not help but see this as an opportunity to talk about conviction. We sat on her bed as I asked her questions about what was keeping her from graciously giving the shirt to Cali. We talked about opportunities to love others, be selfless, and the fruit of the Spirit. We talked about the Holy Spirit's role in our life to help us make choices that are honoring to God. And, I told her I could not control her response and that she has to give the Holy Spirit freedom to guide her and counsel her into making wise choices.

Yes it’s quite a bit for a 9 year old to soak in but such a powerful moment as a mom. I don't expect her to "get it" completely but I explained to her the importance of walking with God and listening to that "little voice" that was telling her what she knew was right all along. I told her that as her mom, I would only encourage so far, but that the softening of her heart before the Lord is her responsibility. At the end of our little theology lesson on the Holy Spirit, I asked her what she thought she should do. She realized she owed Cali an apology and wanted to let her borrow the shirt.

No wonder we moms have to be in the Word and be prepared for discipling these little ones at all times. 2 Timothy 4:2 says "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction."

I just know God wants us to take those opportunities seriously and seek to shape these little hearts. I confess that it's emotionally draining at times. Just writing it out and thinking through it all over again has taken a great deal of energy. But - I firmly believe that is why we must not become distracted with too many other things. And as exhausted as I was last night after our conversation, I have to believe that moments like those will go farther than I could ever imagine.